Rayla Melchor Santos with Patricia Evans

It was Mom who introduced me to Patricia Evans.  Mom gave me her book, Verbally Abusive Relationship in 2003.  I looked Mom lovingly and told her rather exhausted, “Mom, do you really think I would like to read this now?”.


Unperturbed, she went on to create her Merci Melchor for Battered Women brochures. Her first brochure, “Abuse is More Than Hitting”,  had “Basic Rights in a Relationship by Patricia Evans”. This was my first encounter with Ms. Evans.  It blew my mind and wished I read it much earlier. I instructed the mentors in my school to adopt and teach it to the children.  The earlier, the best!


Fast forward 2010.
I finally picked up the book in September 2010 as I needed to work on the conceptual framework of the I AM SAM Prevention Protocol. I typed the whole book, 180 pages in a Word file to be able to read and importantly, finish it. It was only then that I truly understood what I went through. It was so helpful for my healing and recovery.


I could not get enough of Patricia. Checking out her website, I found out that she hosts an annual Clarity Weekend in May in Northern California.  I so set my heart to go but the wedding of the son of a dear friend in Djakarta was on the same weekend. I searched the site looking for another weekend date perhaps later in the year.  Not finding anything, I started dialing the number on the website.  OMG! after 7 or 8 rings, ready to put down the receiver, someone answers and it was … Patricia Evans. I was expectedly tongue-tied but very swiftly, the conversation was warm and accepting.  What generosity of spirit! She asked for my address and sent all her 4 books!


I did not make the Clarity Weekend but in July 8, 2011, I was able to meet Patricia, in San Francisco and spent a glorious whole day with her. The Lord indeed has been gracious.


Patricia Evans is now a partner of foundation. I have still to attend her Clarity Weekend. It is something I would like to give myself sooner than later. Also, I would love to bring Patricia to Asia. Part of my bucket list!




About My Books, By Patricia Evans
Each of my books covers different information and all are essential to building a complete understanding of Verbal
Best recommendation: read them in sequence!


The FIRST, “The Verbally Abusive Relationship,” shows that verbal abuse is a lot more than name-calling and that there are a dozen main categories of verbal abuse, from the silent treatment and discounting, to threatening and name-calling.


The SECOND book, “Verbal Abuse Survivors Speak Out,” explains other forms of control, addresses coping and suggest that readers be sure that any therapist they go to is aware of the dynamics of verbally abusive relationships.


The THIRD, “Controlling People,” clearly lays out what goes on in the mind of the person who uses verbal abuse to control someone, or some group. There is nothing else like it. Dr. David L. Quinby, Professor, Emeritus, Dept. of Psychology, Youngstown State University says, “Human kind urgently needs this, both on an individual and a collective level. Nothing else seems to be working very effectively.”


The FOURTH book, “The Verbally Abusive Man – Can He Change?” shows the reader exactly what to do to wake up a person who indulges in verbal abuse, but thinks that either they don’t indulge in verbal abuse or think that they are provoked to be abusive when no one has abused them. Some people respond to verbal abuse, such as: “You’re too sensitive”, with a comment like “You’re being a jerk.” They don’t know how to respond in a non abusive way. This book helps to sort it all out and is ideal for partners of people who indulge in verbal abuse, and likewise is ideal for people who want to stop being verbally abusive.


The FIFTH Book, “Victory Over Verbal Abuse: A Healing Guide to Renewing Your Spirit and Reclaiming Your Life,” is designed to empower you to create the life you want, far from senseless accusations, wounding words, and confusing comments. And, there is an affirmation and message for every week of the year.


​From www.verbalabuse.com:
POWERFUL VIDEO ON VERBAL ABUSE http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/dec/02/advertising-domestic-violence

Rayla Melchor Santos File